____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize