there's paper in my vomit.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
