he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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