There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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