Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize