her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
