I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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