hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
