hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
