I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize