She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize