Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
