You're my little dorito
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
