i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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