why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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