i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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