The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
