Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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