oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize