no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Randomize
