i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
