Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
