Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
