12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
