I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
