Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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