I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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