I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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