i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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