You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
