Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
