I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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