i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
