I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
