I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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