I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
