his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
