I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
