my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
