I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
foreskin is a definite game changer
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just want nice things and good sex
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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