hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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