best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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