he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
