do herpes really smell.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
