remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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