He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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