my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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