Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Vodka?
Forever.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
