I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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