Whod you bang
420 ftw
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
