seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
