i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
