it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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