I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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