I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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