Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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