nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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