Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
