You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
