I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
