someone get that fucking seahorse.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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