I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i've created a new STD.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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