I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
