how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize