this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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