Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just found a bag of teeth...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
