it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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