weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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