I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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