Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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