just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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