We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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