And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
